I have been trying to write this post for over two weeks now. Usually when I write something, the ideas flow pretty easily and I have material I can work with in less than half an hour. I have started and stopped writing about this race five times. To sum up my feelings about this race at the time - complete failure.
This race was the goal race for my 10k clinic I had enrolled it. I considered the people in the course with me friends and dreaded the thought of racing them. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach began 5 weeks before and I knew at that point I was going to blow it. In retrospect, I should have saved myself a lot of grief and not signed up for the race, but I didn't'.
This course is very close to my house, in fact part of it runs around my house. I trained on the toughest part of it twice a week. I should have rocked it, but I didn't'. I started out way too fast and about half way through I was out of energy. The last 4k felt like they dragged on and on. I was passed by people in my clinic that knew where their inner racer was, but I just couldn't find mine. I dragged myself through the last half of the race. My time in this race was 60:01. I had ran the course 3 minutes faster during one of my training runs. I was disappointed in my time but as I approached the finish line I remember hearing my girls cheering for me like crazy and I found the positive in the race.
At a party hosted by Scott and Katherine (who knew where their inner warriors were during the race) I talked to Mike from Grand River Running. Mike has ran over 500 races and I consider him the Yoda of my running world told me I just needed to keep running more races until I got to the point were it was no big deal to stand at a start line. His talk with me that night although it only lasted a few minutes is the reason why I kept racing. Had it not been for his words of encouragement, I would have walked away from racing and probably running altogether.
Mike told me about a race the following weekend that he and Bob were racing. My husband and I would go just before we left for a week long vacation with the kids. I also decided that I would start training for a half marathon to run in the fall. So at that I learned that despite the huge let down I needed to just pick up the pieces, lace up my shoes and move on.